Because Rudy Giuliani is a pile of sweaty socks and stale gum pretending to be a lawyer and a human being with a soul, his recent episode of accidentally dialing a reporter is being treated as something between almost important and a joke.
In what we are told in media accounts is another in a series of such incidents Giuliani can be heard telling someone that “we need money…we need a few hundred thousand…”
This apparently involves Bahrain as Rudy can be heard mentioning it in the recording.
More importantly it reeks of Nixon era slush funds in which bribes, and assorted off-the books cash were moved to fix things in the manner of any other gangster involved in (semi) organized crime.
We need cash speaks to money that can’t be stolen from already authorized budgets and in theory can’t be traced when it’s used to pay for silence or disposing of evidence.
The “we” of course is Trump Inc and more ominously the people to be bribed and the people providing the cash for the bribe.
As always feel free to make your own list and under the heading of round up the usual suspects one reasonably turns to off shore accounts, sketchy as fuck banks in Cyprus or Malta, Gulf State oil barons and assorted rat fuckers, Russian gangsters – by which we mean the people running Russia – gangsters in Brazil, China, Israel, Europe and of course everywhere in the US where one reasonably assumes such things are SOP like New York real estate, the garbage collection business in Chicago, or whore houses in Los Angeles.
And crucially, ask yourself, if Trump Inc is so fucking stupid it would trust Giuliani with a working phone, how much effort is required for say, the GRU or FSB, or some other gang of Russian ballet stars, to as they say, follow the money?
And having followed the money, and perhaps provided some of it themselves, and set up a “bank” or purchased someone else’s, exactly who is really providing the cash that “we need”?
Holy fuck Trump is stupid.
“We need money” is clearly evidence of a crime even if the lawyers say it is not.
It is also evidence of Giuliani’s brain turning to mush on top of the puddle of radioactive sewer droppings and assorted fatbergs that constitute Trump’s brain and that of his inbred mongoloid Romanov-esque children and their appendages.
We said some time ago that anyone who looked at Trump and saw a man who would “get the job done” (the job being everything from Steve Bannon’s Mussolini-lite toga and leather fantasies to Mitch McConnell’s wet dreams about restoring the CSA to Pence’s Hand Maid’s Tale fetish) were catastrophic morons.
Trump is as stable a genius as a bag of plague-infected rats is an aphrodisiac.
Anyone with a bucket of piss should have been able to draw a line from the man to the rancid corpse of New York real estate, New Jersey casinos, and a vapor trail of whores, abuse, and crimes.
But the people involved are spectacular idiots.
A murderer’s row of pinheads.
A future wax museum with a sign that says: A Confederacy of Dunces.
Back in the dark ages of the Nixon regime Watergate was originally dismissed as a third rate burglary – which as an example of unintended irony, was true.
Dead bodies with bags of cash at the site of an airline crash, sadomasochistic ex Hoovers, rumors of tapes revealing ties to a DC based prostitution ring, mouth breathing knuckle dragging thugs from the goon squad, and the ocean of vomit that would later be revealed as the tapes were made public (and no, Sam Ervin was not surprised – the last time that old man was surprised was the day he was born and he looked around the delivery room and said: This aint the courthouse! Someone git me a fast car and a good driver! I got Bidness to take care of!) all led to the coup – and yes, the unrepentant Nixonites were not wrong when they said their chief was taken down in a coup.
But that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t have been taken down in a coup.
After all, the Saturday Night Massacre may not have been the Night of the Long Knives but the man was considering firing bombing the Brookings Institution and dropping atom bombs on Hanoi.
And had ex not so ex Nazis (who had survived the Night of the Long Knives) on his payroll.*
And so back to “Trump” and that’s in quotes because the truth is they are all to blame for this.
Trump is the system.
They will of course officially define him as an aberration; a historical anomaly and sure, Obama wasn’t this stupid or crass and Clinton could and did actually read books but the truth is, “Trump” has been a feature of the organized crime of capitalism since someone told the locals, here are some blankets and whiskey. We’ll be back in a few weeks to collect the bodies.
Faced with the looming political guillotine, Nixon’s pal and bagman, Bebe Rebozo, said, does this mean we’re not going to Miami?**
No one’s idea of a genius, he could at least perform the mental equivalence of walking and chewing gum at the same time.
Giuliani with a cell phone is like a gang of angry chimps trying to hump a greased football.
Or it’s like the people in the government trying to hump a greased football while throwing torches at pools of napalm.
Six of one, half a dozen of the other. (not withstanding the otherwise honorable souls who without political prejudice have no doubt kept “Trump” et al from dropping an atom bomb on France or selling California to the Russians, or the other way around).
But as we said three years ago, unlike Nixon, once and always a creature of the system (one of us, as a noted stand up put it many years ago) Trump, though every inch a creature of the system, will not go quietly waving from the steps of Marine One.
He’s going to end up either being “escorted” from the stage by the gentle Zen poets of the Secret Service, or he’s going to be given a doctored Big Mac and sent away for a rest at Saint Elizabeth’s.
The distinction being that Nixon, though insane, was not that much more insane than Kissinger or Hoover or LeMay, or LBJ, or Angleton.
But as Spade said to the Fat man; Give’m the Gunsel and as he said to Miss Wonderly: someone has to take the fall.
Nancy were capitalists get used to it Pelosi certainly isn’t going down for making “Trump” inevitable and neither is Obama, or the Clintons, or the goons on Wall Street, or the establishment media, or the rest of the sclerotic atrophied jitters and shakes pile of shit pre-revolutionary madhouse.
We’ve turned to it before but it again seems on point so we’ll leave off with the sage words of the good doctor in one of his more lucid moments:
“In a closed society where everybody’s guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.”
*Which is not to say such people only appeared during the Nixon regime. They were there before and after.
** A usually reliable source assures us it was not Rebozo but one of the Cuban geniuses caught breaking into the DNC offices at the Watergate.