A cursory glance of this blog should make clear to anyone who is not a malignant troll, that we have nothing but contempt for Trump and the system that spawned him. It should also be clear to anyone who isn’t a malignant troll that when we say “system” we also mean the morally gelatinous liberals with their systemic hypocrisy, and situational ethics and how those qualities feed conservative and fascist paranoia and hatred.
The idea that the liberals, and the left are incapable of the same gross distortions as any other part of the spectrum, should have died when the liberals mortgaged their souls to the fascists in order to prevent the left from gaining power in Europe in the early to mid 20th century, and when the left mortgaged its soul by shaking hands with the devil in order to, in theory, protect itself from both the liberals and the fascists.
It may seem as if Stalin and the little corporal, Chamberlain and Munich, Franco and Mussolini being on the payroll of British intelligence are all slipping into a long ago that is so far away, it is reduced to nothing except grainy black and white film footage, and dull iterations of dull iterations, of second rate copies of first rate copies of films, that are themselves so old, they feel as if they should come with title cards because they are from the era before talkies.
And yet, as one of our favorite Zen poets had it, the past aint even hardly past.
Which brings us to an example of the current mis en scene in which The Guardian, acting like your drunk aunt, who staggers into your dinner party telling you she remembers when she went to Glastonbury and gave Robert Plant a blow, and how the revolution was going to change the world, managed to generate the sort of headline that is both completely wrong, totally irresponsible and exactly the sort of cheap, rhetorical whoopie cushion, that proves to the slithering pinheaded thugs of the right, that the Fake News Media is All Fake News, and part of a system ruled by effete, cosmopolitan elites, who want to force everyone to be vegan, and worship at the alter of Hilary-Corbyn-Mao, while chanting #MeToo.
We refer to The Guardian’s coverage of the spectacularly dull witted, Kay Baily Hutchison, America’s current ambassador to NATO, and a political blow-up doll, representing what happens when you fold a Tupperware PR hack into a Texas dominatrix, and feed her a steady diet of diet coke, anti-depressants and amphetamines.
To say that Hutchison is a political zombie, and not so crypto, reactionary aristocrat, harboring fantasies of turning Texas into a kingdom modeled on a cross between the Vatican and Dollywood, is to do injury to the idea of monarchy, and pontiffs who secretly wish they could host drag queens performing a rococo version of Evita.
None of which changes the fact that while Hutchison rhetorically shot a hole in her head, The Guardian was catastrophically wrong and irresponsible when it breathlessly reported that she had said – if Russia doesn’t stop development of a new cruise missile, we (America – the “good guys”) will have to “take it out.”
What she said, in the mangled, spine-twisting manner of your typical functional illiterate pol, was that if the Russians don’t stop development of the missile, then we (America – the “good guys”) will have to develop counter measures that render the missile more or less useless, and the equivalent of a multi-million dollar paper weight or boat anchor.
While it’s also true that precisely because Hutchison is a large bipedal weasel, disguised as a human, she managed to sound a lot like Dr.Strangelove in drag, the fact is she did not threaten a preemptive strike against Russia and saying that she did, publishing a headline that says she did, and then burying the context and the confusion on both sides at the bottom of the article, is exactly the sort of thing that makes fascists scream, I told you so, and reach for their tiki torches.
As one diplomat put it, obviously she did not mean the U.S. was going to attack Russia but that poorly worded language coughed up by a more or less senior U.S. diplomat, bolted to the ass of the malignant troll in the White House, is exactly the sort of thing to make the already congenitally paranoid Russians, shit a brick and start dusting off old operational plans for how to harvest potatoes in a nuclear winter. And, keep in mind that the Russians responded with a fairly ominous version of, are you fucking out of your fucking mind? Except what they really said was the diplomatic equivalent of, you better check your rhetoric at the door because that kind of mangled syntax could lead to awful consequences. In other words, they knew what she meant and responded by saying you should speak like a diplomat, and not a second rate gangster, which means we can all pretend we don’t understand when in truth, despite your vagaries we all understand each other perfectly.
But what the fuck does The Guardian care about accuracy when clickbait and smug, condescending, self-justifying arrogance is more valuable.
And we confess, that when we saw the headline, our heart skipped a beat and then made up for it at a gallop fueled by the thought that given the current state of psychosis and nervous breakdown, it’s not that far-fetched to think that some former horse trainer, whose experience in diplomacy consists of ordering the butler to use the good dinner plates, could have said something exactly that catastrophically stupid and provocative.*
But all of that, of course would, in theory require if not demand, the media to be vigilant in its editorial responsibilities.
But why let a sense of ethics get in the way of the anxiety that sells “news.”
That a deeper, more nuanced analysis of the dangers inherent in language generally and the language of diplomacy specifically would have been more honest and more useful, is not even a blip on their radar. Confined within the cloistered precincts of the people’s republic of the liberal left, who gives a fuck about the truth.
Are there Strangelovian lunatics slithering through the lubed up, sewage tunnels of the establishment? Of course there are, and even a cursory glance at history will reveal a ghastly number of there but for the grace of god and one soldier with a conscience goes the world, just avoiding a nuclear apocalypse. But it is precisely because the stakes are that high, that the media, with its blunderbuss megaphone has a responsibility to not scream the sky is falling, when in truth it’s just one animatronic pinhead, with a garbled message, that says more about her stupidity than it does about rattled nuclear sabers.
See for yourself:
*We don’t mean that Hutchison has experience as a horse trainer. We mean that in other similar situations, it is not unreasonable to discover that the morons running the government, used their thimble full of intelligence to select someone with no useful experience, to be in charge of an important position that requires, tact, intellectual dexterity, and a profound fear of saying the wrong thing. It is, in other words, like the old joke, that seeing who is in charge, is like running to the bridge of the Titanic, after its hit the iceberg, only to discover that the captain is Daffy Duck.
Compare and contrast this version of Hutchison’s comments: