After Stephen Colbert had Trump, Mouth of Sauron Sean Spicer, on the emmys to crack some jokes, we decided to stop watching him. This was after we had already considered Colbert spineless and morally feckless because for the last episode of The Colbert Report, he brought out noted stand up comic and well-respected Beat poet Henry Kissinger, to wave to the crowd. Because of course, when you think humorous irony, you naturally think of Kissinger. And the millions of dead ground up and spit out in the industrial scale mass murder he orchestrated in Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Indonesia, The Middle East, Central and South America.
Mothers of the disappeared?
Hank! Stop it, you’re killing me.
So there’s Colbert, making nice with Sean Spicer. And cracking jokes about Trump. One could be generous and assume that out of some deeply considered Catholic sense of forgiveness Colbert believes Spicer and Kissinger deserve a second chance.
But he offers no consideration for that point of view and instead cracks jokes and cashes checks.
At what point then do the liberals stop, and say: That’s not funny. It’s immoral. Kissinger is a mass murdering fascist responsible for carnage on an epic scale and Spicer was a proud mouth piece for the Caligula of American politics who is working on destroying what little remains of the republic.
Consider this from way back in 2008 when Colbert and Jon Stewart were interviewed in Rolling Stone – the magazine for people who used to be cool but now are suffering from sleepless anxiety riddled nights where they obsessively check their stock portfolio.
“I have tender feeling for Nixon, because everyone has tender feelings about their childhood. Actually I didn’t like the Watergate hearings, because they interrupted the Munsters.
Pointing at the Nixon poster above his desk: Nixon was the last liberal president. He supported women’s rights, the environment, youth involvement, and now he’s the bogeyman? Kerry couldn’t even run on that today.”
And contrast it with this:
“If the right people had been in charge of Nixon’s funeral, his casket would have been launched into one of those open-sewage canals that empty into the ocean just south of Los Angeles. He was a swine of a man and a jabbering dupe of a president. Nixon was so crooked that he needed servants to help him screw his pants on every morning. Even his funeral was illegal. He was queer in the deepest way. His body should have been burned in a trash bin.”
Drug addled, foul tempered, and dangerous, we will go with Hunter S. Thompson over Colbert every time.
What the fuck does he mean, he has a tender feeling for the man? Along with J. Edgar Hoover, and a successful Grand Dragon of the Klan, and somewhere to the right of a Medici Pope or Francisco Franco, but less ideologically certain, Nixon ranks as one of the great malignant trolls of history and a poster boy for the decadence and depravity of American politics.
Tell it to the dead at Kent State you feckless bitch.
Tell it to the tens of thousands of American boys who came home in coffins you spineless toad.
He supported women’s rights?
Yes, he did – the right to have an abortion or to have napalm perform the abortion for you. And here he is on the subject of abortion:
“There are times when an abortion is necessary. I know that. When you have a black and a white. Or a rape.”
He supported the environment?
Well, he did come up with the EPA – and said nothing about secretly dosing Americans with radiation and syphilis and spraying them with Agent Orange so he could help kill more Vietnamese, poison their food, destroy their environment and kill god knows how many animals essential for maintaining the ecosystem.
He supported youth involvement?
Everyone has tender feelings about their childhood?
For fuck’s sake you have got to be kidding me with this shit.
Who talks this way?
People whose souls have been damaged by some sort of emotional, radiological event that has left them devoid of the ability to distinguish between shit and the truth.
But to be fair, Colbert is right – Nixon was all about youth involvement. Just ask the post traumatic stress syndrome cases that came back from the war. Or go stand in front of the Vietnam War Memorial and count the names of the dead who never made it past nineteen.
Nixon was really hip to the kids.
Consider these examples of his sensitivity:
“The Jews are just a very aggressive and abrasive and obnoxious personality.”
“I’m not for women, frankly, in any job. I don’t want any of them around. Thank God we don’t have any in the Cabinet.”
“As long as I’m sitting in the chair, there’s not going to be any Jew appointed to that court. [No Jew] can be right on the criminal-law issue.”
“Nixon: I still think we ought to take the North Vietnamese dikes out now. Will that drown people?
Kissinger: About two hundred thousand people.
Nixon: No, no, no, I’d rather use the nuclear bomb. Have you got that, Henry?
Kissinger: That, I think, would just be too much.
Nixon: The nuclear bomb, does that bother you? I just want you to think big, Henry, for Christsakes.”
But while one could go on about Colbert’s mendacity, his twisted lack of moral courage, or even a modicum of moral conviction, what is just as foul if not more disgusting, is the silence of the liberals.
Were a conservative to say the same things about Nixon or some other ape of the right, the liberals would burn them at the cyber stake and expect Colbert to lead them in a national moment of sarcasm and contempt.
The entire premise of Colbert and Stewart has been calling out the hypocrisy of the system – the weak situational ethics of the liberals and the sadistic hypocrisies of the conservatives.
Except, while it’s true that Nixon was as Colbert describes him, it is also true that he was a criminal; a gangster who nearly destroyed the country and went down taking millions of people with him. To paraphrase Thompson, if you shook hands with Nixon, after he let go you had to check to see if your fingers were still attached to your hand, your kids weren’t dead, and your dog hadn’t been sold to a psychotic chef.
Nixon was an opera of sadism and paranoia; a carnival of deceit, decadence and despair. He was the blunt instrument of America’s fascism and its psychotic spasms of bigotry.
To say otherwise is to deny the line of descent that runs from Nixon’s fascistic paranoid impulses to Trump.
Claiming that Nixon would be too liberal for today’s republicans, is to not only deny the man’s ability to slither in and out of whatever identity the moment required, but it is to deny his guilt as a mass murderer and a thug who, as Thompson correctly said, could, like a badger, fake death, show its belly and use that as a pretext to lure his pursuers to their death – that he was a man who could shake your hand and stab you in the back at the same time.
And of course that claim is the dark heart of the matter.
The liberals are as to blame for Trump as the neo fascist thugs marching and chanting Jews shall not replace us.
Trump’s spirit animal guide was the slithering hatchet Roy Cohn. And Cohn was Joe McCarthy’s hand, in the Game of Thrones sense of the title, and Joe McCarthy and Nixon were ideological soul mates in the manner of sinners spending eternity in hell, where the only enjoyment is watching each other burn.
But for all of that, Colbert should be taken at his word when he says he has tender feelings for Nixon.
In the same sense that devout Catholics have tender feelings for altar boys with nervous tics who start to shake or cry uncontrollably when the local priest comes in for a hug.
Amid the smoke pouring from the braziers, the old ladies with their pieties and home baked cookies, if you close your eyes, and wish hard enough, the monsters can be sent away, until someone reminds you of the truth and says, how dare you ignore these sins.
Shame on you.
See Colbert on Nixon, here:
See Hunter S. Thompson’s eulogy for Nixon, here:
If Sean Spicer is as odious as the video below suggests, what does that say about Spicer appearing at the Emmys to crack jokes?